Helga without the H

Every year* I attempt (with varying degrees of success and effort) to watch as many of that year’s Oscar nominees as possible. For the past few years* I’ve posted reviews of these movies here on this blog. At some point before the awards ceremony, I usually write up some sort of over-analysis and maybe some predictions, but we’ll see if I run out of steam before then. In the meantime, today we cover…

*Except 2022, when I was too burned out from 2021’s binge to give a crap.

Anatomy of a Fall

[5 nominations for best picture, actress (Sandra Huller), director, original screenplay, editing, ]

IS IT SALTBURN? NO. No, no, no, no, no. Whyyy?

This movie was as bland and boring as the photo of this lady in a sweater.

Honestly, I rented this while I was on the couch with covid. I was kinda out of it and tired, but it passed the time. My husband and I watch a lot of mysteries, especially British mysteries, and a lot of them are dark slow burns. This movie felt like just an episode of any regular mystery show. Except it was 2-3x as long for some reason. There was nothing, as far as I could tell, that made it particularly special. The court scenes were all a bit mind-boggling from an American perspective, because virtually nothing they did would be permissible in US courts. Are French courts this effed up? Jeepers.

My husband was stuck on the couch with covid right after me (we traded off) and the rental was still active, so he checked it out. Turns out he was less groggy at that point in his illness than I was, which meant he was way more checked in. Holy cow, he hated that movie. He hated every single character. He hated every single moment. Above all, he hated the length. It was 2 hours and 30 minutes, but to him it felt like 4 hours. I just asked him why he hated it, and he said “I tried to wipe it from my mind, hon.” That’s how much he hated it.

I didn’t have the same strong reaction as him, but I was pretty neutral. I think if I’d been with it enough to realize that it was an hour long than it should have been, then I might have a similar reaction to my husband. Instead, I was, and still am, just left wondering what I’m missing here. What is supposed to be special? As I was watching, I was waiting for some sort of twist or revelation. But there wasn’t one. And when the list of Oscar nominees came out, I found myself even more perplexed. I cannot for the life of me figure out why this has so many nominations. Best actress? I mean, she was fine I guess but… didn’t really do much. Best picture, though? Why? WHYYYY? How? What is supposed to make this thing so good? I don’t even have any guesses.

Anyway, I did think that the dog actor and kid actor were both good. So there’s that.