Helga without the H

Every year* I attempt (with varying degrees of success and effort) to watch as many of that year’s Oscar nominees as possible. For the past few years* I’ve posted reviews of these movies here on this blog. At some point before the awards ceremony, I usually write up some sort of over-analysis and maybe some predictions. That analysis post is available here, and you should hit that up before continuing to…

The 2024 Official Helga Without the H Oscar Results and Reactions

Okay, folks. I am live-reacting to the Oscars. Let’s do this:

In the opening Jimmy Kimmel points out that the dog from Anatomy of a Fall had a great performance. Check out my predictions post! I called out the dog as Best Animal Actor! Hopefully this is a good omen, and not the end of my luck with Oscar predictions.

They’re going to have a Best Casting category in the future. I think I like this.

Best joke so far: Robert DeNiro and Jodie Foster were both nominated for their first Oscars for Taxi Driver 40(?) years ago. Back then Jodie Foster was took young to play his daughter. Now she’s 20 years too old to be his girlfriend.

Okay, on to the awards…

Best Supporting Actress

Winner: Da’Vine Joy Randolph
My Pick: Jodie Foster (Nyad)
My Prediction: Da’Vine Joy Randolph (The Holdovers)
Dice Prediction: Jodie Foster (Nyad)
Other nominees: America Ferrera (Barbie), Danielle Brooks (The Color Purple), Emily Blunt (Oppenheimer)
Okay, this is the first award announced, and my husband is crying for some reason. Which is fine, because for some reason I started crying as soon as the generic opening montage started. In my predictions and analysis post I said that this year was short on sobfests, that I didn’t cry much in the films like I usually do. But I guess I was holding it all in for this ceremony. I just like seeing people being acknowledged and happy, I guess. Oh hey, Paul Giamatti is crying, too. Anyhoo, I’m happy for Randolph, and glad to already have 2 correct predictions (best dog and best supporting actress) after only 1 statue has been given.

We’re on the first commercial break. So they did a think where 5 separate people came out to give a little speech about every nominee. Is this going to happen for every category? No wonder we’re starting an hour early. This is gonna be a loooong night.

Now might be a good time to mention that I’m not bothering with predictions or reactions for categories where I didn’t see the majority of the nominees. So… I have zero reaction to these animated films. Instead, our household is now discussing whether Chris Hemsworth and Anna Taylor Joy would produce super attractive children or not.

Best Original Screenplay

Winner: Anatomy of a Fall
My Pick: The Holdovers
My Prediction: Past Lives
Dice Prediction: May December
Other nominees: Past Lives, Anatomy of a Fall, Maestro
WHAT THE EFF??? What in the EF?! I do not understand! Why? How? This film was garbage. This story was stupid. I hated it so much, and I cannot understand this award at all. My husband is also fuming heavily.

Best Adapted Screenplay

Winner: American Fiction
My Pick: Poor Things
My Prediction: Barbie
Dice Prediction: The Zone of Interest
Other nominees: American Fiction, The Zone of Interest, Oppenheimer
Wow! My husband’s classmate snagged it! I asked if he looks the same, and he said, “Less hair.” Look, I clearly loved Poor Things way more than this, and I had lots of problems with (half of) American Fiction. But I also loved the cleverness of the remaining half of the film, so I’m happy for this Cord Jefferson. Also, I’m liking his acceptance speech.

Best Makeup and Hair

Winner: Poor Things
My Pick: Society of Snow
My Prediction: Maestro
Dice Prediction: Society of Snow
Other nominees: Golda, Oppenheimer, Poor Things
I’m totally fine with this. Willem Defoe looked incredible, and I had zero strong feelings here (beyond just wanting Society of Snow to get some sort of recognition.)

Best Production Design

Winner: Poor Things
My Pick: Barbie
My Prediction: Barbie
Dice Prediction: Killers of the Flower Moon
Other nominees: Napoleon, Oppenheimer, Poor Things
I’m very happy to see my favorite movie win for this, and I do think it is very much deserved. This was just the one category where I was ok giving Barbie a nod, given that I think Poor Things should blow it out of the water in everything else.

Best Costume Design

Winner: Poor Things
My Pick: Barbie
My Prediction: Barbie
Dice Prediction: Oppenheimer
Other nominees: Napoleon, Poor Things, Killers of the Flower Moon
From my predictions: “I’m kinda surprised to see Poor Things here, even though I loved the film. The costumes were kooky and weird and fun, but Oscar-worthy?” But hey, like I said on the last award, this was my favorite movie and I’m happy to see it grabbing a bunch of Oscars! Fingers crossed that that continues in other bigger awards.

We’re on another commercial break, and I’m crying again! This time the culprit is the commercial about the synagogue getting a bomb threat and the kid having to do his bar mitzva in the neighboring church. Ugh, right in the feels!

Back from commercial, and I’ve gotta say, while I didn’t like the movie Killers of the Flower Moon, it was really freakin’ cool having the Osage singers perform. Good stuff.

I didn’t bother with a prediction for best international feature, partially because I only saw two of the nominees, and partly because one of the nominees is also up for best picture, so it’s an obvious win. Maybe I should have done a prediction just to pad my stats, but I have integrity, dang it.

I liked the Emily Blunt vs Ryan Gosling Barbie vs Oppenheimer bit. It would have been better if, before or after the stunt industry tribute montage they were introducing, they got into a physical fight. Missed opportunity if you ask me. Oh well.

Best Supporting Actor

Winner: Robert Downey Jr
My Pick: Robert Downey Jr (Oppenheimer)
My Prediction: Robert Downey Jr (Oppenheimer)
Dice Prediction: Mark Ruffalo (Poor Things)
Other nominees: Robert DeNiro (Killers of the Flower Moon), Sterling K. Brown (American Fiction), Ryan Gosling (Barbie)
We’re watching the presenters, and as Sam Rockwell is talking, my husband asks, “That’s the guy in our bathroom, right?” Yes, that is correct. Here’s a random story: Twenty years ago my sister worked in a box office at a theatre festival featuring lots of famous actors. Sam Rockwell walked in one day, asked to borrow her pen, then doodled onto his own headshot that was displayed in the lobby. Around that same time I came for a visit and we went to a party, where Sam Rockwell asked me for a light (I did not have one, so the conversation ended there). When they were closing down at the end of the season my sister stole the self-doodled headshot and gifted it to me. It is one of my absolute most prized possession, and I will happily show it to you if you come visit. It is in the bathroom above the toilet because it is so interesting that the hope is it will distract peeing male visitors from looking down at the spot where I messed up the wallpaper. It’s right by a framed autographed photo of Project Runway Season 3 winner Jeffrey. My sister scored that one for me too because he came to see a show at a different theatre where she worked, and my sister knew I was a fan. Apparently it was the very first (and maybe only?) autograph he’d ever signed, and he had no idea what to write. These are all good stories.
Also, not much to add to the Robert Downey win here, except that I liked his acceptance speech.

Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger are doing a Batman bit which is actually quite hilarious. I approve. It’s to intro visual effects, for which I’d only seen one (or two?) nominees, so I have no opinion here. But I am glad Godzilla won because they seemed so super excited for their win, and I love that everyone has little Godzilla statues with them for some reason. And I didn’t notice it, but someone posted that the whole team is wearing matching godzilla-claw heels! I’m also enjoying watching Danny DeVito in the background looking kinda baffled during the acceptance speech. Oh, Arnold and Danny are still onstage! Editing! “They fix all our screwups.” Good stuff.

Best Film Editing

My Pick: Oppenheimer
My Prediction: Oppenheimer
Dice Prediction: Oppenheimer
Other nominees: The Holdovers, Poor Things, Anatomy of a Fall, Killers of the Flower Moon
From my predictions post: “Hot dang, my pick, my prediction, and the dice prediction all align here! So… it’ll almost definitely be wrong.” Nope, we got it right! Also, I like the editor accepting the prize. She seems like a normal nerdy chick I’d probably be friends with. And she insulted Chris Nolan, which I am clearly all about.

Kate McKinnon and America Ferrara are presenting best documentary, and their bit (Kate thinks Jurassic Park is a documentary) is actually very, very funny. Like literally laughing out loud in our house here. Kate McKinnon is a national treasure. Also, the winners for best short brought out an LA public schools music student with them, which is awesome. While we’re in the documentary section, I’ve gotta say, I’m sad I didn’t get around to watching any of the documentaries or most of the international films this year. The one year where I got to almost every nominee (2021, 30+ movies) I found that the international documentaries were easily the best. Oof, the Ukranian director is making me cry again giving his speech about how he is probably the first person ever on the stage to say he wishes he never won an Oscar. He wishes Ukraine had never been invaded to give him the opportunity to make the film. I think someone made the wise decision to not play him off for a long speech, cuz it is pin-drop quiet in there. And… kinda weird that they’re playing I’m Just Ken to send him off. Yeeeesh that’s a tone change.

Best Cinematography

Winner: Oppenheimer
My Pick: Poor Things
My Prediction: Killers of the Flower Moon
Dice Prediction: Maestro
Other nominees: Oppenheimer, El Conde
Sure, whatever. Oh, the winner is giving a snooty speech claiming his old-school art medium is superior. No wonder he works with Chris Nolan. Blaaargh. Nice shoes, though.

Best Sound

Winner: The Zone of Interest
My Pick: The Zone of Interest
My Prediction: Oppenheimer
Dice Prediction: The Zone of Interest
Other nominees: The Creator, Maestro, Mission Impossible
This is definitely the right call here. If you haven’t seen this movie yet, see it. But more importantly, don’t just see it, hear it. Winner is wearing cool shoes. And they thanked the academy for listening to their film. I’m wondering how often this award goes to non-action films. Multiple British winners are wishing folks a happy mother’s day.

Ah, finally, it is time for I’m Just Ken!!!! Poor Ryan Gosling. He’s a good sport, though. I feel like I’m watching an ugunskurs prieksnesums (with a budget). This is amazing. I think those are the real Kens? Is that Slash?! This was super fun and clearly everyone had a blast here, which is great. On the other hand… I feel like they could have gone even bigger and crazier. Oh well.

Jimmy Kimmel came back after the break with the bedazzles pink pants Ryan Gosling wore and made a joke about auctioning them for profit. He offered them to Bradley Cooper’s mom, though my husband pointed out that John Cena would have been a better call-back. (He was on earlier doing a bit for Best Costume where he came out naked.)

The guy winning Best Score for Oppenheimer is thanking Chris Nolan for giving him the idea to use a violin for the score. How genius! Ugh. Stupid Chris Nolan.

I appreciate Billie Eilish thanking her music teacher with, “You didn’t like me, but you were good at your job.” I’m not sure if there can be much higher praise.

Best Actor

Winner: Cillian Murphy
My Pick: Paul Giamatti (The Holdovers)
My Prediction: Cillian Murphy (Oppenheimer)
Dice Prediction: Bradley Cooper (Maestro)
Other nominees: Colman Domingo (Rustin), Jeffrey Wright (American Fiction)
Well-deserved and I’m stoked to pick up another prediction point. But on the other hand, I really wanted Paul Giamatti to win this. (Though, now as I’m watching everyone’s little promos all over again, I’m realizing maybe Paul Giamatti was just kinda playing himself?) Also, I’m very happy to hear Cillian Murphy’s acceptance speech, because hot dang do I love a good Irish accent.

Best Director

Winner: Chris Nolan (Oppenheimer)
My Pick: Chris Nolan (Oppenheimer)
My Prediction: Chris Nolan (Oppenheimer)
Dice Prediction: Yorgos Lanthimos (Poor Things)
Other nominees: Justine Triet (Anatomy of a Fall), Martin Scorsese (Killers of the Flower Moon), Jonathan Glazer (The Zone of Interest)
Ugh. We were sitting here really pulling for Poor Things, or maybe Zone of Interest. I know I said Chris Nolan as my pick in my predictions, but this night is just reminding me how much I hate this guy and don’t like watching him win. But oh well, at least it wasn’t Anatomy of a Stupid Fall. And… he just said in his acceptance speech that movies are only about 100 years old, and could you imagine being around in the first 100 years of painting or theatre? Imagine what may become of movies. That is a very good line. Look, I’m saying another nice thing about this guy! I can do it! I can! The main thing we’re concerned about, though, is that this is making it look like Oppenheimer is in for best picture. Which is bad news for my beloved Poor Things. 😦 But we’ll see…

Best Actress

Winner: EMMA STONE!!!!
My Pick: Emma Stone (Poor Things)
My Prediction: Emma Stone (Poor Things)
Dice Prediction: Annette Benning (Nyad)
Other nominees: Lily Gladstone (Killers of the Flower Moon), Carey Mulligan (Maestro), Sandra Huller (Anatomy of the Fall)
YES!!!! Yes! A thousand times yes! This was the easiest pick of the night, and yet I was still nervous. Also, I love Emma Stone, as she’s someone I’d love to hang out with. She says things like, “My dress is broken!” and “I have no idea what I’m saying!” And now she’s gotten her shit together, and she’s doing a super-perfect thank-you to everyone else who worked on the film.

Jimmy Kimmel is out here doing his last little bit of hosting stuff before Best Picture, and it’s occurred to me that he’s been pretty low-key… oh wait, I take that back, he pulled out a good bit to end on. He read a tweet from Trump and responded, “I’m surprised you’re up- isn’t it past your jail time?” Good stuff!

Best Picture

Winner: Oppenheimer
My Pick: Poor Things
My Prediction: Oppenheimer
Dice Prediction: Barbie
Other nominees: American Fiction, Anatomy of a Fall, Killers of the Flower Moon, Maestro, Past Lives, The Holdovers, The Zone of Interest
Watching Oppenheimer win best picture was like watching Trump win super Tuesday. You know it’s gonna happen, but you also just really really really hope it won’t. Oh well. The good news is, this is just a(n admittedly good) movie and it doesn’t matter. Not much else to say.

Final Thoughts

Okay, how did I do…

My picks: 5/14 = 36%
My predictions: 7/14 = 50%
Dice predictions: 2/14 = 24%

Oof, not so good! My pics and predictions were all most likely to be correct whenever I picked Oppenheimer. Except for Sound, where the dice and I both picked Zone of Interest and Oppenheimer surprisingly lost. At least my predictions were my best stat and the dice roll was the worst stat, which is how it’s supposed to work.

Do I wish Poor Things had won more? Yes. Did I think it was better than Oppenheimer? Yes. Am I upset Barbie didn’t win more? No. This is not an Oscar movie. Am I surprised by anything whatsover? No. Oh wait, except for one thing…

Can someone please explain Anatomy of a Fall to me???? I do not understand. I really don’t. What am I missing?