Helga without the H

Four star review, originally posted here on July 23rd, 2025.

How did I get here?

Many many years ago, maybe in high school, after devouring and loving all of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy books, I stumbled upon a volume entitled “Good Omens.” I loved Good Omens. It was written by some guy called Neil Gaiman, and one of the Monty Python guys. The Monty Python guy did the animations, I think, plus directed the movie Brazil. Did I think that Terry Pratchett, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones were all the same person? Yes, yes I did. When did I figure out that these were, in actuality, 3 different people? Umm… not sure on the Pratchett revelation, but I only learned that Python had 2 completely separate Terrys about 2 minutes ago. The point is, in my stupid little brain, I for some reason assumed that Neil Gaiman was the master author, and the Terry Python guy was just some superfluous comedian. Thus, several years later when people kept raving to me about Neil Gaiman, I thought, “Oh yeah! I loved that Good Omens book way back when! I think I love Gaiman!”

Then I started trying to read other Gaiman books, and I was unimpressed. “I don’t get it. I loved Good Omens so much. But that was a long time ago. Maybe it’s not as good as I remember?”

Then I saw someone somewhere make a reference to Terry Pratchett books. “Oh yeah, that’s the Monty Python guys who collaborated with Gaiman on Good Omens. I didn’t know he had another book.” So, I looked him up on Goodreads. And I discovered the gobsmackingly enormous universe of The Discworld and its popularity.

Oh, what a fool I have been. I am sure every Pratchett fan reading this wants to knock my head into a wall. I dunno, guys. I cannot explain it. I am sorry. I’m not British, if that helps excuse my ignorance some? No, it doesn’t? Okay, that’s fair.

Anyway, Guards! Guards! was the first book I’d seen recommended somewhere, but when I realized it’s book… what, 8 out of 40-something?… I wasn’t sure where to start. I have no idea what a Discworld is. And wait, this is book 1 of some sort of series, but I thought it was book 8? Everything was pretty overwhelming to a total beginner such as myself, but I eventually decided to start here at Guards! Guards! after all. For one, I saw someone mention that it’s ok to start at the beginning of any of the series’ without starting at the beginning of Discworld. Second, multiple people said it was their favorite. So, in I jumped.

And now I’m here.

So, what did I think of this book, having virtually zero pre-conceived notions or understanding of the vast universe in which it lives? How did I enjoy this as basically a stand-alone novel? Well, there are pros and cons here

Pro: It is very, very funny. I in particular enjoyed absolutely anything related to Carrot, the 6.5ft tall human raised by dwarves. When early on his dwarf father tell him he thought he would grow out of growing, I knew this would be a solid book.

Pro: I did the audiobook, and the narrators did a REALLY good job with the voices.

Con: I learned from the introduction (which played at the END of the audiobook) that Discworld is a (loving) parody of fantasy novels. I do not typically like or read fantasy novels. And so, any/all parody is pretty much lost on me here. What’s more, I think elements that might be

Con: I didn’t particularly care for the story here at all. It just didn’t suck me in. Nothing much happened, and found myself zoning out as a result. That zoning out means that I know I was missing lots of great content. I would be zoned out, then I’d try to force myself to zone back in, and the characters would do or say something hilarious, and I’d be mad at myself for how much I was probably missing. Now obviously, some of that is on me and my own attention span, and I think that, despite the seriously top-notch quality of the audiobook talent, I would have fared better reading this in print so that I’m forced to actually “listen.” On the other hand, the story was dumb and boring.

Pro: I really enjoyed the characters and the world-building. I got a really good sense of life in Ankh-Morpork and the various elements of society living there. The idea of a sanctioned thieves’ guild, for example, was pretty creative. The ape librarian. The idiot-laden secret society. The townspeople debating virgin sacrifice. All good concepts.

Pro: I’m really glad that the audiobook included the introduction, which gave me a lot better sense of what the heck I had just read, how it fits into the overall world of Terry Pratchett (checks notes- NOT Terry Gillam), how beloved this is as a piece in a greater puzzle, and how I might expect the characters to develop if I continued reading. If I had just stumbled onto this book by itself and somehow never realized what it was only one player in an elaborate play, I would have been less impressed.

I’m torn between a 3 and 4 star review. I didn’t get sucked into this book the way I’d hoped, and the way that clearly so many others have. I can’t imagine re-reading it over and over. And I’m not dying to immediately go read all the other Discworld novels. It was fine. It was funny. Totally ok stuff. So, from that one might expect a neutral 3 stars.
However, I really, really appreciate the humor in this book, and I do think that, at some point in the future, I might reach for the next book in the series when I feel like having a comforting spoonful of clever British humor (which, frankly, I’m always in need of.) And I believe that, if I had read the book in print form, or on a different day when I was a little more attentive or in a different mood, I would come away loving it. So, bottom line, 4 stars it is.