Goodreads Review: Confessions of a Military Wife by Mollie Gross

Ooh! Here’s a treat! Here’s the only One Star review I’ve ever written (at least thus far- knock on wood), originally posted here on February 15, 2015).

This book is absolute gibberish.

I admit, I am definitely not the target audience, though once upon a time I theoretically could have been. Back in the day I used to date a Marine (just like the author!), and I was introduced to the bizarre world of military dependents. I am definitely NOT criticizing all military families or the idea of a military family, but there is a very specific brand of military clinger-on that disgusted me: the kind who relish the title “Military Wife.” For some naïvely optimistic reason I read the description of this book (found in the Kindle equivalent of a bargain bin) as being a scathing critique of these women (No, let’s be real… girl. These people are all children playing dress-up.). Turns out this book is written by one of these very children, and it was directed at all the other dependent children. I realized my mistake very early on, but am not a quitter, so I slogged all the way through, hoping (but not expecting) it to get better. It didn’t, though towards the end there was one somewhat valuable chapter about dealing with PTSD and anxiety that wasn’t too bad, and where Gross suggests therapy for everyone. This chapter was also I think the only one where Gross wasn’t trying to be funny, which should tell you something. A rule of thumb for any budding comedian: if you have to tell people you are funny, you are probably not actually funny.

The only good thing I can really say about this book is that it has a lot of farts jokes. I am a big fan of farts jokes. So good on Gross for keeping those in there.


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