If I ever decided to take up the practice of idolotry, my false god would be Billy Joel. He’s pretty similar to real God anyway. He always soothes my soul. He’s with me in good times and bad. I don’t talk about him if I want to seem hip and cool. He’s kinda disappeared for a while but I’m praying for a resurrection. His followers have unconditional faith in him (even during River of Dreams). Etc.